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Dildos are toys designed for insertion. They’re one of the most versatile toys you can own–they can be used solo, with a partner, hand-held, with a harness, vaginally, or anally.

Dil-do’s and dil-don’ts of choosing a dildo

When choosing a dildo, there are quite a few characteristics to think about: size, shape, material, color, texture, vibrating (or not), and whether it can fit into a harness. Size matters–too big might be uncomfortable and too small might not hit the spot. If you know the dimensions of a penis or a toy that has worked well in the past (or even the number of fingers you like), try something comparable.

size (length)

picture of dildos Length and girth are important things to consider in finding a dildo that feels good to you and works with your body. When it comes to length, there are two measurements to consider: total length, which is the overall length from tip to base, and insertable length, the portion designed to fit inside the body. The insertable length is usually the key to finding the right dildo for you, though harness-wearers might find the total length to be important too.

size (girth)

picture of Girth Girth is how thick your dildo is, measuring by diameter at the toy’s widest point. Keep in mind the role of density when thinking about girth--a firmer material may feel bigger to you than a softer material, since it doesn't have that much "give" when it's inside the body.


picture of Didldos Texture and density contribute to heightened sensations, and the consistency of any given material will also be a factor in the overall feel. There are many kinds of textures to try, including wavy, rippled, and veiny, and they can feel great as the dildo is thrust inside the body, stimulating internal hot spots with each movement. Some people may find textures to be more intense than they prefer, and like to keep it smooth. The more textured a toy is, the less it may be suited for anal play, especially for beginners, since the anus is more sensitive than the vagina.

Dual-density toys are a special dildo style that feels especially realistic. They're made with a firmer core and a softer outer layer, which makes them feel much more like an erect penis than most dildos, and the softer exterior has a "give" that can make them especially comfortable to use.


Dildos can come in a variety of materials, including silicone, stone, metal, glass, and crystal, which offer a variety of different textures and sensations. While silicone is the most popular material for dildos because it’s soft enough for harnessing, comfortable to use, and easy to clean, there are also benefits to having a more rigid material for use outside of a harness, such as stimulating the G-spot or prostate with a firmer toy–or simply aesthetics!

Silicone dildos are flexible, and have the ability to quickly adapt to body temperature. Silicone comes in many sizes, shapes, and textures. Almost all silicone dildos have a flat base, making it easy to use them in a harness or for anal play.

picture of glass dildosGlass and acrylic dildos are a good option if you are looking for a hard dildo. Since these toys are really firm, most people go with a slightly smaller size–the firmer it is, the bigger it feels. Acrylic, metal and glass dildos (in fact all hard materials) should be used by hand only--they are too firm to use in a harness, where a hard thrust could cause pain or damage. But like silicone, they range in price and are easy to clean.

picture of metal dildosJust like glass toys, metal dildos are very rigid, which magnifies even the smallest motion. They work well with any lubricant, especially silicone formulas. They can be washed by hand or in the dishwasher, and can be disinfected in boiling water for 5 minutes. You can also warm or cool them in water before play for a different sensation.

representational/realistic or non

Representational or realistic are terms used to refer to how much your dildo looks or feels like a penis. There are many reasons someone might use a dildo, from enjoying it as a sex toy, to using for gender congruency. If it's the latter, you may want something for play as well as wearing it out and about. Do you want it to look and feel like a flesh penis? Are you looking for a flaccid soft packer to create a realistic bulge without looking erect all day? Or are you looking for something with a flexible spine so you can pack and be ready for play?

Do you want it to be sort of realistic–maybe realistic in skin tone but not in texture, or realistic but not in skin tone? Do you want balls? Do you want it to not look anything like a penis at all?

picture of packersPackers look and feel realistic and you can wear them with or without a harness, in briefs .


picture of dildo basesThe base is the flared, non-insertable end of a toy. If you are going to use your dildo as a strap-on, make sure there is a base on your toy so that it can be fastened into your harness. If your dildo is going to be used anally, it needs to have a base–in fact, for ANY anal play with a toy, a flared base is a requirement in order to anchor your toy outside of the body for safe retrieval. Some bases have suction cups, which are great if you’re looking to have hands-free play–especially on smooth surfaces such as shower walls, or hardwood chairs! If your dildo doesn’t have a built-in suction cup but has a flat base you can always add a suction attachment separately.


If you'd like to add a little extra oomph, try a vibrating silicone dildo to add another layer of sensation. Many dildos feature a hole at the base where a bullet vibrator can be inserted, and some even have the motor built right in.

Commonly Asked Questions:

How is a dildo different from a vibrator? A dildo generally does not vibrate; it is designed to give internal stimulation. (Some dildos do have that ability, and you can always add a vibrating ring to your dildo to add vibration... read more

Are there different dildos for anal vs. vaginal play? Yes and no. Some dildos are great for enjoying either way, but to be safe for anal insertion, a dildo (or any other toy) must have a base. Otherwise, you run the risk of it slipping all the way... read more

What makes a dildo a strap-on? A dildo becomes a strap-on when it is... strapped on! That means it's attached to a harness, usually by protruding through an opening that lets the dildo be worn on the pubic mound... read more

Is a glass dildo dangerous? The glass dildos that we carry are absolutely safe to use by hand! Most are similar to glass cookware and built to withstand daily use—but a glass dildo should not be used in a harness... read more