How To... Good Vibrations Sexual Education: Anal Sex
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The Basics
When done correctly, anal sex shouldn’t ever hurt. If it hurts, something needs to change. Try adding some lubricant, use a different position, or add some extra stimulation, such as oral sex or a vibrator. Not everyone enjoys anal play, so listen to your body and to your partner. There are three important ingredients for fun anal play: relaxation, communication, and lubrication.
- Relaxing the anus works a lot better than trying to make it open up. It takes practice, so start off with a slimmer toy or smaller finger. If you want to move to something larger, you can always increase the size over time.
- Check in with your partner, before and during anal play: What do you like or dislike? Do you need more lubricant? How’s this position? Want something different? The more you talk about what’s happening, the easier it is to make it fun and pleasurable for everyone.
- Thicker lubricants usually work better for anal play. Water-based lubricants (both glycerin-based and non-glycerin) can dry out after a while, so keep the bottle handy—you can also add a tiny bit of water to make them slippery again. Silicone lubricants don’t dry out, so they’re great for anal play.
Never go from anal play to vaginal or oral play without changing condoms & gloves and/or washing up first.
Choosing an Anal Toy
We have lots of great anal toys in many sizes, shapes and materials.
- Dildos provide fullness and/or a back-and-forth motion, but they’re not hands-free.
- Butt plugs are designed to be inserted and held in place by the anus. They create a sensation of fullness and are hands-free.
Anything that goes into the anus needs to be easy to clean, smooth, and have a base.
- "Easy to clean" means non-porous, such as silicone, hard plastic or glass (only use borosilicate glass which is safe for sex toy use; other kinds of glass are not). Or cover it with a condom to keep things simple. Latex gloves are also a great way to keep your hands clean. Nitrile gloves are a good choice if you find latex irritating.
- The anus is more delicate than the vagina, so make sure that your toys are smooth.
- Toys with a base are anal-safe since they can’t go all the way inside. If you ever “lose” a toy during anal play, that may mean a trip to the emergency room, especially if it’s vibrating.
Anal toys can be lots of fun on their own or when combined with other sex play like oral sex or intercourse. You might enjoy them for the pleasures they bring or to warm up for something like anal intercourse.
For More Information
Books:
Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Men
The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex For Women
The Ultimate Guide To Prostate Pleasure