Scary Sex Myths
October is the perfect time for all things spooky and scary, and at Good Vibes we find one thing scarier than anything else--sexual health misinformation.
*insert movie scream track here*
There are so many myths floating around like little spooky misinformed ghosts--so just like the Scooby gang, we’re here to peel back the mask on those misbeliefs to reveal what’s really up.
Myth: Orgasms should happen for both partners simultaneously through intercourse.
Studies show that over 70% of cis women cannot orgasm solely through penetrative intercourse. Unfortunately, this goes against what most people assume about sex, and can leave us and our partners confused and frustrated.
It’s understandable to feel disappointed that orgasms aren’t happening together just by intercourse alone. Society and films always make it seem like both partners should orgasm at the same time, from the same sensation--but that simply isn’t true! The fact is, most cis women need clitoral stimulation in order to reach orgasm. The nerves across the body are very similar between different types of genitals. Just as most cis men will find orgasm more readily from external stimulation over the phallus (the penis), the same can be said for cis women over their phallus as well (the clit).
This isn’t to say that other stimulation isn’t pleasurable, or that it’s not possible to orgasm from it from time to time (or person to person). It’s important for you and your partner to know that your anatomy may just require additional stimulation, despite how much you may be enjoying sex with them.
Myth: Vibrators will ruin you for other types of sex.
Vibrators are not designed to replace or even replicate partner sex--they’re simply a tool that can be used to bring some additional stimulation in a way that human bodies can’t.
Also, vibration will not leave a person desensitized from use--actually, it’s even more possible for someone to reach orgasm in a variety of different ways if they have had experiences reaching orgasm via a vibrator, since orgasm is both a learned response and a reflex. The nerves of the body enjoy vibration, as it helps support growth of new nerve pathways that help responses like orgasms happen more readily. The more success your body has in reaching orgasm, the easier it becomes for the body to do it again, with or without your vibe!
Myth: Anal sex hurts.
There is a myth that anal sex should hurt, or will hurt at first--but the fact is, if you are careful and patient, it shouldn't. Anal sex should feel good--that’s why people love it!
The Key to Pleasurable Anal Sensation is Relaxation, Communication, and Lubrication. If anal sex does hurt or feels uncomfortable, stop and start over another way or another day. Try going slower--don’t add too much depth or size without allowing the body to warm up first, and use LUBE!
No type of sex should ever hurt or feel uncomfortable (unless you want it to, and you’re doing so safely).
Myth: You don’t need lube if you are turned on.
One of the most amazing, life-changing pieces of advice we give at Good Vibes is that lube makes all types of sex even better. There is a myth out there that if you use lube, there must be something wrong with your body, but in truth, needing or wanting some extra lubrication doesn’t mean that you’re not aroused enough or that something is the matter. Factors like how hydrated you are, medication you’re taking, changes in the body, or even simply what body parts you are playing with (like the butt, which does not self-lubricate) can all play into why you may want or need that extra slick, no matter how turned on you may be!
Lube can be a great treat for your body and elevate your sex play to the next level! It cuts down on the friction, especially with condoms and other barriers--where less friction also means your barrier is more comfortable and less likely to break--and with toys, where lube can help a grippy silicone slide and glide more pleasurably. All in all, using a lubricant increases safety and sensation.
So don’t let any misinformation spook you out of getting the most of your sex life, and have fun going bump in the night