Putting Your Best Fist Forward!
October 21st is National Fisting Day!
National Fisting Day was created by Jiz Lee and Courtney Trouble as a response to the overwhelming censorship of fisting as a sex act in pornography. National Fisting Day is meant to celebrate and debunk negative stereotypes, and to spread information on why fisting can potentially be a wonderful act to include in your play!
So, what is fisting?
Fisting is the act of using one’s entire hand (read: fist) to penetrate the body- either vaginally (brachiovaginal insertion) or anally (brachioproctic insertion). This can either be self-done via masturbation (if you’re limber enough), or with a partner.
Fisting can be a fun way to incorporate deeper and further penetration, to access new pleasure hot-spots, to give a pleasurable sensation of complete fullness, or just to try something different with their penetrative play!
Fisting may not be for everybody, but if it’s something that piques your/your partner’s interest, there’s a few things to know before trying it out:
Talk about it first!
For some folks, the idea of fisting can be really intense, considering that the size of a fist might be much larger than what your/your partner's body may be used to receiving- so, asking your partner if they're interested in fisting may not be a conversation to have while you're already two fingers deep in their body. Instead, consider bringing it up outside the bedroom, or before any play has actually begun.
Prep those hands.
Wash your hands, and consider using a barrier like latex or nitrile gloves. If you usually keep your nails long, trim them or- if you’re experienced and do so carefully- wrap them in cotton balls and keep them padded under the glove. Take off your rings and nail polish, and make sure that there's absolutely nothing sharp on your hands- like cuticles or hangnails- that could potentially hurt your partner. And use lots and lots of…
Lube, lube, lube!
Fisting requires the body to be able to open up further than it may have done before, and so you want to make sure that there is enough lube to keep everything slick and comfortable. A fear when it comes to fisting is tearing or fissures, both of which lube helps to prevent by cutting down on friction.
With fisting, even if you think you have enough lube, there's no harm in using even more- both on the hand of the fister and the body of the receiver. Scared of making a mess? Throw down a towel or waterproof sex blanket like the Liberator Throe for easy cleanup.
Bodies need time to warm up to new sensations. Take your time, and start off slowly- maybe even after some other play to make sure the receiver is aroused and relaxed! You may not be able to fist or be fisted right away, or at all, and that’s okay! Don’t force or rush it.
To start- use one or two fingers, adding more lube if/when you need to, then slowly add fingers three and four, then your thumb if you and your partner are comfortable- with your hand in the shape of a duckbill.
Once you’ve successfully made it that far comfortably (and possibly after a few tries!) you can ball your hand into a fist inside the body, thrust the hand, or play with moving it to create new pressure sensations- just watch out for back-and-forth “windshield wiper” movements with vaginal fisting that can potentially result in stretched ligaments.
Talking about fisting before giving it a shot is super important, but so is keeping that conversation going once play has started, so check in throughout the entire process-- from first finger to full fist.
Pay attention to your/your partner's reactions and body. Whether it's telling them that something feels amazing, or letting them know something is uncomfortable- verbal check-ins are great to gauge where everyone is both mentally and physically.
If fisting becomes unpleasant or painful, say so. Not everyone’s anatomy can handle an entire fist, especially if the giver has larger hands. Stop where feels good to you, and play there instead!
Fisting can be super-intimate, it can be power play, it can be a feast of sensation -- vaginal fisting can put pressure on the g-spot, and anal fisting can offer lots of prostate stimulation.
It’s advanced sex play, so treat it and your partner’s body with respect and learn all you can about safety. If you needed any more proof that our bodies are amazing, the adventure of fisting will open your eyes… and some other parts too!