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Feeling Too Tight?

By: Good Vibrations

When penetration is painful.

It Hurts Pop Tv GIF by Big Brother After Dark

There are many things that can cause sex to be painful, especially for folks with vulvas. Everything from a tender cervix to post-surgery scar tissue can cause discomfort during intercourse. But for this post, we’re focusing on those who find vaginal insertion of a finger or more to feel too wide or large for them.


Vaginismus is a common condition in which the muscles in the vaginal canal feel "too tight" for almost any size or type of insertable item, from a penis to a tampon. It's something that can occur at any stage of life but is commonly seen with folks who have experienced sexual harm, those who've gone through cancer treatments such as chemotherapy, and those going through/completing menopause. 


There are lots of great folks who specialize in dealing with physical therapy and pelvic treatment and we always recommend making a visit with a trained PT specialist first before trying to treat on your own. If your PT or gyno suggests you try dilating, we have just what you need!


Dilators are tools usually sold in sets with gradually increasing sizes to help provide a gentle, more comfortable penetration during and after regular use. Many find that regular use of dilation, and massaging a lubricant or vaginal moisturizer into the walls of the vagina can help restore some natural elasticity and moisture to the area. Some dilators will be shaped like plugs that can be held in the body for a period of time, while others will be longer like a thin dildo or vibrator that you can insert and work manually.


Years before such sets were available in our stores, many of our customers would buy slimline vibes and dildos to dilate with, which also works, but you can't always find that specific size you might need, causing a slight Goldilocks moment where "this one's too big" and "this one's too small."


Whenever dilating, you should be sure to have a good lubricant handy. Remember, the area is more tender so don't be shy with how much lube you may need, and you can always apply more during play too. This is also a place where a nice CBD oil or bath bomb can aid in helping relax the muscles with their natural anti-inflammatory properties. 


Sex is an important part of many of our lives, and when it's uncomfortable it can make us feel like maybe we should just give up. But that's why so many physical therapists are committed to helping folks find the best steps to make sex comfortable again. You're not alone, and your sex life is worth it!