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The "Me" in Men: Male self-love

By: Educator Andy Duran

MaleThis one's for the fellas out there! We often talk about how most of us have likely grown up with little to no sex education, and the little we did get along the way is often pretty limiting. Well, that's especially true when it comes to masturbation--and this spans across the gender spectrum.

So, I wanted to do a post aimed at our male customers. Here are some helpful reminders and tips that might help you to explore new ways to appreciate solo pleasure this month and beyond. (Folks of all genders are of course welcome to read along!)

  • You own your body: For many of us, it may be the only thing we may truly own, and it's certainly our longest relationship. Touch any and every part of it that you want. There isn't a spot on your body that you could touch that could change who you are or who you are attracted to. See if you can challenge some of the ideas society has placed upon you and your body, and which parts of your own body you are allowed to touch and know. Maybe that's your nipples, or touching around your anus for cis men, or your front hole for some trans men. Take time to admire your own body and the way it feels in your hands. Explore the scent of your pits, or maybe the stimulation of playing with the balls vs only having one area you go to. It's all yours. 
  • Sex toys are for you too: Sex toys come in a wide variety of styles and shapes but folks tend to assume they are all created for women. A vibrator isn't actually gendered, and can feel lovely on any sensitive area rich with nerve endings. And that's just one style of sex toy! Don't forget strokers, rings, nipple toys, dildos and more! These toys don't care what's in your pants, they just wanna offer you an opportunity for pleasure.
  • You deserve slowness, tenderness, and exploration: Quickies can be fun but it's certainly not the only method available. But so many of us learned masturbation by trying to be quick and efficient. Try experimenting with longer sessions and more intentional time finding new rhythms. This can be done with edging, or taking yourself close to the edge--and pausing to linger in the sensation and rebuild.
  • Lube isn't just for penetration: It's awesome that you have some lube on deck, yay you! But if you think it's only useful for penetration then you are missing out on a prime time pro tip. Lube can make any stroke feel slicker and smoother for longer, harder play. It also can make a world of difference if you're using any type of toy like a vibe or stroker. Try a silicone lube if you're into a water whack in the shower, as it's waterproof and won't rinse away quickly.
  • Your size is lovely just the way it is and completely deserving of care and pleasure. Whether we're talkin body size, height, or cock size, your body is bangin! Try not to critique or focus on yours or other's body ideals/goals but rather appreciate the body you have right now. It's taking you through your whole life and is present to carry you even further. See if you can take some time to just show it some love and celebration.

So remember, it's never too late to learn more about your body, and its full potential for pleasure. You're worth it.