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69 Time!

By: Carol Queen, PhD

696/9 is here! Nice! That makes it National Sex Day, and we hope you have a chance to celebrate according to your pleasures and preferences. (Of course we are standing by if you need any gear.) 
Lots of things can be termed “sex”—don’t listen to the naysayers who insist the only proper definition of sex is P/V intercourse. (Married! In the dark! That’s all fine, mind you, it’s just not the definition.) And yes, that means that all you anal fans ARE having sex even if you’re pretending you only said yes to avoid losing your virginity. Sex is all kinds of things! In fact, in honor of 6/9, let’s talk about this date’s namesake—sixty-nine, or mutual oral sex. So-called because two bodies look something like the number 69 when giving head to each other simultaneously. 

Sixty-nine isn’t everyone’s fave, because it can be hard for some to get comfortable until they find the right position, and it can be pretty overwhelming, especially if one partner winds up on the bottom. (Though some love that, so being overwhelmed in a oh-no-that’s-too-much way certainly isn’t everyone’s experience.) But we know it can be one of the sexiest kinds of oral precisely because it’s so hot to get oral AND to give it. Especially if you let go of expectations (like having to come while doing it, or get your partner off, or manage your gag reflex while you’re on the bottom…) you can explore the sensations and turn-on of it, and if it gets to be too much, you can change positions or change your erotic focus. Switch it up! Keep it moving and keep it comfy. 

What else do we love about it? It can be enjoyed by duos of any orientation, identity, or genital variety. Innies, outies, gay, straight, non-binary, anybody might love it. 

If one of you is larger than the other, try taking the bottom position while the smaller one lies on top. If you’re accustomed to thrusting during oral (especially if you’ve got a penis), maybe move less and let your partner move more. It can be more comfortable for many 69-ers to lie on their sides (experiment with pillows or small Liberator shapes so your neck isn’t crooked, and use your arms to hold your bodies together). If one of you is much shorter than the other this is also a good 69 position to try, since the taller one can curl up a little to help equalize the distance between mouth and genitals. 

Besides using a small Liberator for your neck (try the Heart Wedge for this, or maybe the Jaz Motion if the height is right for you), the Wedge/Ramp Combo make a great base for oral 69 adventures as well as many other styles of sex as well. 

What else can you use to jazz up 69? Lickable lubes can be fun to use during any kind of oral play. And how about adding a finger vibe or small sleeve for extra stimulation? This is extra-great if you find your lips and tongue need a break but you do want to keep up your end of the deal! Just rest up for a minute while you keep the pleasure going. In fact in addition to the penis, the Tenga can be used on the vulva and clitoris too, just pull the sleeve down over your fingers, textured side out. Don’t forget the lube! Finger vibe possibilities are many, and can focus externally like these, or in some cases are shaped to facilitate penetration. 

Whether you get down and go down on 6/9, enjoy National Sex Day your way!