Self-love is when you adopt the attitude you'd have about someone you love--wanting them to feel good and experience pleasure, supporting them being their best self, looking at them with compassion, and so on—and applying that to yourself!​

Look for situations when it's hard to love yourself or too easy to put yourself down. Where does that come from? We often learn it from family or the people who were in our lives when we were young. Notice when that happens and change the script. Forgive yourself or refuse to take on shame. Look for ways to support things in life you need or that give you pleasure. Think of the affirming statements that help you show yourself respect and love.

Your sexual identity and desires are your own, so first, "knowing thyself" in terms of sexuality is a central way to think about what you want and need. This can be true for anyone, and doesn't mean having all the sex—at some times, it might mean having none! Self-care ​includes your boundaries as well as exploring what gives you pleasure. It definitely means letting go of shame and false beliefs that get in the way of finding your best life.

When you choose masturbation as a way to care for yourself, de-stress, get better rest, explore your body and responses, and experience pleasure—100% yes! Solo sex lets you learn about yourself at your own place and ​can be the foundation of your sexuality and central to your rituals of self-care. 

Communication is easier and healthier, you can negotiate sex and pleasure on the basis of your desires and boundaries, and intimacy can be deeper! Plus you are much more likely to see if the people in your life are good for you.