How to Use a Vibrator
Everyone is a little different, so you'll need to experiment to figure out what works best for you. Here are some tips to get you started with using a vibrator.
Do What Feels Good
Most people say that vibrations feel best on the surface of the body: the clitoris, penis, labia, scrotum, perineum, or the anus. Once you get more than a couple of inches inside the vagina or anus, there are fewer nerve endings for the vibrator to stimulate.
Try different positions. You might find that on your back works well, but so can sitting, hands and knees, or even standing up. Get creative and pay attention to how your sensations change in different positions.
Try moving the sex toy. You might like a stroking sensation along the shaft of the penis. Or a circle around the clitoris. Or alternating lighter and deeper pressure.
Do the sensations change as you move through your arousal cycle? Do you suddenly want stronger vibrations? Lighter pressure? Keep experimenting until you find something you like.
If you’re using a vibrator during partner sex such as oral sex or intercourse, play around with different positions. The toy might be in the way for one position, but it could be perfect in another.
If You Can't Get Over the Top
Sometimes, it’s possible to be really turned on, but not be able to orgasm. If that happens to you, take it easy. Slow down and start again. You might be getting overstimulated and need a change. If you can stop trying so hard and enjoy the sensation, you might find that it suddenly becomes easier. Goal-oriented sex can sometimes short-circuit the process.
Let your mind wander and explore your fantasies. There’s nothing wrong with any fantasy you might have, so enjoy the ride.
Muscle tension usually goes along with arousal. See what happens if you exaggerate the tension and let if go. If you’re holding yourself tight, try to relax into it. What sensations do you feel?
You can also play with your breath. Take slow, deep breaths to slow things down and short, panting ones to heighten arousal.
Introducing Your Partner to Your Vibrator
There are lots of fun ways to play with a vibrator and another person. If your partner has concerns about being replaced, see if you can introduce it as something you want to do together. While it’s true that vibes do things that people can’t, people do lots of things that vibrators can’t come close to.
Get experimental. Try using the toy all over each other’s bodies. Try different speeds out, or see what happens in different positions. Can you use it during erotic massage, or oral sex? Give lots of feedback. If you expect your partner to read your mind, you’re likely to be disappointed.
If you want to use your vibe during intercourse, try different positions until you find one (or several) that are comfortable for both of you. "Woman-on-top," most "rear entry" and some "side-by-side" and "scissors" positions are generally the most satisfactory.
A majority of women report that orgasms during intercourse are difficult or impossible without clitoral stimulation, so your vibrator may be just the thing!