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What is an Orgasm?
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Most of us have heard stories of thunder claps, crashing waves, quaking thighs and multiple orgasms, leaving some of us to wonder: what am I missing? The first step to understanding your own pleasure is to not compare yourself to other people or what you think everyone else is doing. An orgasmic experience is as unique as a fingerprint. Orgasms can be barely there, a faint quiver, a show stopper, a spiritual outlet, and more. In addition, some people may not desire to experience an orgasm or may never have one. Each person’s sexual experience is unique and your best bet is to discover your own, rather than try to be like someone else. We highly recommend treating orgasms as a possible, even probable, outcome of any sexual exploration instead of the goal of a sexual experience.
The Emotional and Mental Side of Orgasms: What’s So Sexy about the Brain?
Orgasms are whatever you perceive them to be. How you feel about yourself, your partner, and sex, will affect your sexual experiences.
By understanding how and why orgasm occurs, people can better understand their own bodies. And the more you know your body, the more easily you can experience pleasure and orgasm.
The Physiological Side of Orgasms
From a physiological perspective, sexologists Master and Johnson described four general stages of the human sexual response cycle. You can use their model as a flexible guideline or reference for understanding your own body’s cycle. It is extremely important to remember that everyone is different and some people may recognize all, a part, or none of the stages in their own personal cycle.
Many variables will affect your sexual response, including age, physical and emotional state and what kinds of sensations you’re feeling. Your sexual response will change over time, so your past experiences may work better as a place to start rather than something to try to recreate. Besides, that means that you can have the pleasure of rediscovering yourself instead of doing the same things your entire life!
The Sexual Response Cycle
For many people, the sexual response cycle begins with arousal. There is a wide range of things that people can find stimulating. Essentially anything that taps into your senses -- a touch, a fantasy, a smell, a taste, or a thought -- can be arousing.
This stimulation triggers an increase in blood flow throughout the body, including but not limited to the genitals.
An important note about lubrication -- it is possible for a woman to be aroused and not be very lubricated. There are many possible reasons including: medications such as antihistamines, or hydration levels, dehydration caused by smoking or having a few drinks, or low amounts of estrogen.
We offer many different lubricants that can make sex more enjoyable if you’re finding that there’s too much friction.
Not sure if you experienced an orgasm or want to have them more frequently? Here are some tips:
Masturbate: Many people have their first orgasmic experiences during masturbation. Some people find that during doing solo play they do not have concerns about how they look, or other worries that may come along with partner sex. They also feel free to spend as much time as they would like, have a quickie or a long hot solo session. Get creative with techniques. If you’re looking for inspiration, we have some great books.
Let’s remember Alfred Kinsey, who stated “There is nothing more characteristic of sexual response than the fact that it is not the same in any two individuals.”
Have fun exploring your sexual pleasure, on your own or with company!
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