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Sexual Health & Wellness
How to Go Down on a Woman (Cunnilingus)
Oral sex, going down on a woman, or cunnilingus (derived from the Latin words cunnus, meaning “vulva”, and lingere, meaning “to lick”), is a wonderful act that two people can share. When fully appreciated and recognized it can mean to admire, to have deep respect for, or worship the woman and the vulva. In addition, it has the added bonus of feeling divine.
Back to the Basics:
Anatomy: Know It
Fear + Anxiety = No Orgasm
A relaxed, confident woman will have a much easier time reaching orgasm than a woman who is worried about how she looks and smells.
It’s safe to say that most peoples’ early sex education memories are not of holding a hand held mirror and examining their genitals. Maybe you received little information, or maybe your genitals were labeled “No Trespassing!” Or maybe the only information you got was very medical sounding, without any way to make it connect to your body. Whatever your sex education was, very few of us were fortunate enough to have been told or shown how each and every vulva is unique and beautiful.
Lack of information and misinformation can lead to fear and embarrassment about your genitals. Many women will than compare their vulva to what is portrayed in magazines and mainstream porn and will think what they have isn’t “normal.” As a result, many women feel embarrassed about their vulvas and shy away from oral sex. In reality, vulvas come in all shapes, shades and sizes. The book Femalia is a revolutionary book, it does an amazing job of depicting the range of women’s vulvas. Pierced, not pierced, no hair, hair -- all can be seen and admired in the beautifully shot, color photograph collection. Learning to admire your or your partner’s vulva is one of the most potent aphrodisiacs, especially when it comes to cunnilingus.
Safer SexSafer sex is easy to do and important for a several reasons. If you are with someone new or have multiple partners, safer sex will protect yourself and your partners. Since many people have been exposed to sexually transmitted infections without knowing it, safer sex can protect everyone, monogamous or not.
For cunnilingus, dental dams make an excellent barrier. Dams are rectangular sheets of latex or non-latex, that can be used to cover all of the women’s vulva, anus and perineum. We carry our own Good Vibes Dental Dams, as well as the Hot Dam, which is made of 100% non-latex polyurethane for our latex-sensitive lovers. If you’ve never tried them, we have some useful tips on using dental dams.
Lubricant can be a great addition to oral play. It helps keep everything nice and slick. Flavored and warming lubes provide a fun flair and flavor burst when used during oral sex. Flavored lubes will work especially well with partners who are a little self conscious of their scent or taste.
Foods like honey or whipped cream can be great when used externally, but it's a good idea to avoid getting them in the vagina since they can trigger yeast infections.
Turn the Lights Down Low
Your Rhythm is Gonna Get Her
Here are a few strokes that can be incorporated into your licking repertoire. Pick a few to try and stick to the ones your partner seems to enjoy. People will often find that just because one move pleased one partner, it doesn’t mean that same move will please another.
Body Language -- Read it, Become Fluent in It
Once orgasm is inevitable, many people it is best to stay with a single stroke and continue to do whatever you are doing. Do not experiment with a new stroke -- it often interrupts her arousal.
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