An Introduction to Anal Play

At Good Vibrations we love helping people explore their sexuality by providing accurate sex information and dispelling harmful sexual myths. Naturally, any and every topic under the sun comes up at one time or another, but even after all these years the subject that is consistently #1 in stigma, taboo, misunderstanding, utter confusion, and fear still revolves around the rear. That’s right, anal play.

What’s important to know right from the start, is that anal play does not have to be dirty, unhealthy, or painful (in fact it should never be painful); and enjoying it does not make you dirty, weird, abnormal, or any other negative adjective you can think of. The truth is that your anal opening is full of sensitive nerve endings that are capable of experiencing wonderful amounts of pleasure. And, since everyone’s body is different, what you may find completely orgasmic will be specific to you.

For some people, the tip of a pinky is enough to make their day, for others, a fuller feeling from a dildo or butt plug might be just the thing. And, for others, vibrations or the various sizes and uses of anal beads feel the best. So whether you’re curious about health and safety issues, or just want to know the difference between a dildo and a butt plug, read on for some great tips to get you and/or your partner started exploring the pleasures of anal stimulation.

Anal Play and Pain

One of the most persistent and dangerous myths about anal play is that it is supposed to be painful. In fact, if anal penetration is done correctly, it shouldn’t hurt at all. If you experience pain during anal play, your body is telling you that something needs to change and you should stop whatever it is that you are doing immediately.

If you feel discomfort, you could be going too fast, not using enough lubricant, and/or your sphincter might not be relaxed or aroused enough to allow comfortable entry. It is important to practice relaxing your sphincter muscles and stay away from numbing creams that will prevent your body from letting you know if things go too far. You can practice relaxing your sphincter muscles by doing a series of contracting and releasing exercises like Kegels, and/or gently massaging your anal opening with your finger.

Lubricants

It’s also important to always start slow, start with something small (one finger, a smaller size butt plug, etc.), and always use plenty of lube. Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce any lubrication on its own, and on top of that, it is actually absorbent. So, you will need to use a lot of lube to begin with, and you will have to reapply periodically throughout to keep from drying up.

You’ll probably find that thinner lubes dry out more quickly than the gels do (although thinner lubes work great for vaginal play). Lubes with glycerin last a long time, but they eventually get sticky. Glycerin-free lubes don’t get sticky, but they do seem to dry out faster. Silicone lubes never dry out, but some of them bond with silicone toys, ruining the toy. Silicone lube is waterproof, which can make bath time fun, but can also make cleanup a bit trickier.

For more information about lubes, please read Lube Info 101 and explore all of our lubes.

Anal Play and Cleanliness

The second biggest fear around anal play is that it is unclean. If hygiene is a big concern, you could start by taking a shower or bath prior to beginning and always use safer sex products such as gloves, finger cots, and condoms (either on a penis or a toy).

It is also very important to remember that any toy or condom that is used for anal penetration should never be inserted into a vagina without being cleaned, and condoms should always be replaced. Using safer sex products also makes clean up a lot quicker, in addition to providing a wonderfully slick texture when combined with lubricant.

Anal Play and Gay Men

Another prevalent misconception about anal play is that it is only enjoyable for gay men (or that being a man and enjoying anal stimulation means that you are gay). The truth is anal play has about as much to do with sexual orientation as ice cream preference.

While anal intercourse has been largely associated with gay men in the media, sexual positions and techniques do not reflect sexual orientation—only your personal attractions to actual people can do that. Plus, regardless of gender or even sex, both men and women have anal openings that are chock-full of sensitive nerve endings (much like the ones in your genitals) that can become very aroused when stimulated.

Men may achieve orgasm or deeply pleasurable sensations through applying pressure to the P-Spot (prostate), which is the male version of the G-Spot, and located about 2-3 inches inside the rectum. Similar to G-Spot responses, many men describe their P-Spot experiences as resulting in “focused” and “powerful” orgasms. A lot of women also enjoy the feeling of “fullness” from anal penetration, and can experience stimulation to their perineum and G-Spot areas as well.

Anal massage, rimming (oral-anal contact, which should always include a latex barrier), and anal penetration appeal to a wide variety of people regardless of gender, sexual orientation, or anything else because they can all produce intense amounts of pleasure. In fact, anal play’s growing popularity with heterosexual couples has made Bend Over Boyfriend one of GV’s bestselling DVDs.

Anal Play and Safety

Since the rectum is sensitive and lined with soft tissue, here are a few safety guidelines that will keep your anal play safe and satisfying.

• Make sure that any object inserted into your anus is smooth and free of any rough or sharp edges, which includes both toys and fingernails.
• Always use lube, preferably water-based, and stay away from numbing creams.
• Never insert any object into your anal opening that does not have a flared base that will prevent it from slipping all the way inside. Your sphincter muscles contract and release involuntary, which will push and pull objects into the rectum. Without a flared base, an object could slip into your anus beyond finger’s reach and result in a trip to the emergency room. This rule holds especially true for egg-shaped vibrators, which should only be used vaginally or externally as they can lose their cords if tugged.
• Make sure your toys are safe for anal use and are cleaned and/or fitted with a new condom for each person being penetrated, or before any vaginal use.

Anal play can be lots of fun, as long as a few basic precautions are followed. For more information about how different anal toys work, please read our article on anal toys.