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Flying the Sexy Skies

by Diana Cage

Traveling with sex toys, especially elaborate toys and BDSM equipment has gotten a little trickier in these times of tough airport security. Every seasoned security officer has seen his or her fair share of "massagers," but it doesn't mean they won't stop and question you about an item if they can't ascertain its use. I nearly missed my flight coming back from a sex toy convention in Las Vegas because the stainless steel double dildo I was carrying freaked out the security staff. I had to say "It's a sex toy, do you want me to show you how it works?" to four different people before they let me on the flight. As a well-adjusted sex loving human, it's your right to pack anything you like. But if huffy security guards make your blood pressure rise, follow these tips for a snag-free mile-high experience.

Know Your Rights
They aren't allowed to say anything about your personal items or make you feel uncomfortable in any way. Most security guards will be more embarrassed than you are about your ten inch schlong, so if you really love it, don't be shy about bringing it along. So what if they find it? It will tell them you are a happy, sex-positive person, and that's a great thing to be.

Check it
Rule number one to flying with kinky equipment is; don't pack anything suspicious-looking in your carry-on. Even if you feel totally comfortable talking to the security guard and X-ray tech about your kegelcisor and metal cock cage, carrying it on board means a surefire bag search, which is annoying at the very least. And if you can't bring nail clippers on board, they probably won't let you carry on your catheter and sounds set, or breath control equipment. You'll just hold up an already slow line and having your boxers fondled by some grubby stranger is way less fun than it sounds.

Pack Wisely
Random searches of checked bags are routine. Expect yours will be inspected and pack accordingly. Got something interesting in your bag? Put it in plain sight. This cuts down on the amount of time spent ruffling through your tampons. Tantus Silicone owner Metis Black tells the tale of the time the National Security Administration certified her dildo as "no threat to national security."

"Usually they leave that paper confirming your bags were opened right on top of your clothes. But once I found it in the pocket with personal items; tooth paste, tooth brush, soaps, harness, butt plugs, dildo.... there it was, wrapped around my favorite black dildo. At least I know my sex toys are government approved!"

Expose Yourself to Art
There are many beautiful glass, acrylic, and metal pieces out there that easily double for art piece. If you blanch at the idea of explaining your Spectral Dildo to a red faced X-ray tech, tell him or her it's a sculpture, and that you are a collector.

Portable Equipment
The Bondage Belt is a spiffy looking belt that holds up your pants and converts easily into a restraint system. A company called Deluxe Door Jam Cuffs bondage system, they make the bathroom door in your suite at the W almost as useful as a St Andrews Cross. They also make a portable restraint system that slides under a mattress, instantly turning your hotel bed in a bondage playground.

Travel Light
There's really no need to pack your Hitachi when a Mystic Wand works just as well and takes up less space. There are also many discreet vibrators on the market, and quite few would fool your mom. Try packing some of ingenious vibes designed to look like non-sexy items. The I Rub My Duckie vibe, lipstick vibe, and Droplet Necklace offer you a truly undercover orgasm. And don't forget to remove the batteries from everything; you don't want to explain the vibrating thing in your knapsack to grandma! For the lady that loves her G-spot, one little known fact is that clear acrylic toys are virtually undetectable on airport X-ray scans.

Label Everything
If you really want your arsenal to travel along with you, then by all means pack it. If you have the original boxes, repack your toys in them. This will make their use obvious and prevent you from having to explain things if they happen to search your bag at the check-in counter. If you don't have the boxes put everything in clear ziplock bags and label them. Security will most likely be dubious about digging through bags marked "vibrators," "butt plugs," and "dildos."

When in Doubt, Ship
I once had a disgruntled ex ship all my sex toys back to me via UPS. And while I don't recommend this as a break-up strategy, it's not a bad way to deal with sending kinky equipment. If you are going on a long trip and want to set up a play space at your destination.

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