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Bachelorette Party Planning Guide

by Violet Blue

Eventually we all end up knowing a woman who gets married. And whether it's a family member or a friend, a traditional, same-sex or even Star-Trek-themed wedding, you get one chance to throw a party that fits her personality; you want it to be fun and unforgettable, and cheesy in all the right ways. It's time to throw her a party -- but not just any girls-only party; you want to make it an exciting and memorable bachelorette party.

She's not married yet... and the clock is ticking. Where do you start? Bachelorette parties are a traditional way to send a friend off into married life with a very grown-up bang, and let her know how special she is at the same time. It can be challenging to plan and execute an event that has fun with sex but is tasteful at the same time -- or even (if you don't care about taste) a party where there are a lot of fun sex-oriented games and gags that will make everyone giggle and blush, plus gifts that'll make everyone turn green with envy.

Set the party date around two weeks before the wedding and begin planning your party a month in advance. You'll need a month of planning to have a comfortable amount of time to shop for decorations, especially if you shop online or through mail order, and to make reservations for locations, planned outings or entertainment. Setting the party two weeks before the big day ensures that she won't be too stressed out -- yet -- about her wedding details, and you won't be making the mistake of having the party too near the wedding and sending a hung-over bride-to-be down the aisle.

This is her gift from friends who love her, so make sure that she won't have to lift a finger. Keep the planning and execution of the evening out of her hands by enlisting one or two other friends to help you pull everything together, and be organized: delegate tasks so no one gets overwhelmed. Have one of you work on decorations and party favors, while another deals with food, etc. Also, make sure that little Miss About-to-be-Married doesn't pay for anything, but make sure you consult her about your plans! The last thing you want is a bride who's uncomfortable or unhappy at her own shower.

What you'll need for an unforgettable bachelorette party:


If you decide to have your party in a public place, such as a restaurant or bar, find out if you can decorate the area where you'll be seated. If the establishment will allow it, outfit your area with streamers, a banner, place settings or table favors to suit your theme. Should the establishment prohibit decor, especially if it's risqué, you can get around it by decorating yourselves -- especially the bride. It's a tradition for the bride to wear a bachelorette party veil to signify her status, and you can make one yourself, buy an inexpensive one and decorate it (with sequins, ribbons, condoms) or order one custom-made for the occasion. It's up to you whether or not -- or how much -- you want to embarrass the bride.

When you throw the party at someone's house, you have a world of options. You can go all-out with paper plates, napkins, balloons, banners, table decorations and you can even find straws and toothpicks in a bachelorette theme. The bachelorette themes you'll find available from party stores and online retailers will range from sweet to raunchy; it's up to you to set the mood of the party with your trimmings. For a tasteful setting, choose innocuous party supplies that sit in the background and allow other party elements to come forward, such as games, gift giving or entertainment (like an exotic dancer, a favorite or funny wedding movie or a pleasure party). For the bride who's a wild child, you can find dirty tableware, penis straws, obscene paper cups and plates, and even dirty hats with naked hunks -- or gals -- on them.

Festive Food

Food and drinks to fit your theme are essential. You can buy cake molds in penis shapes or put chips and dips into naughtily shaped bowls -- some bowls will have a picture on the bottom to make finishing the guacamole a real surprise. Make the details of the food fun; serve items that are in suggestive shapes, such as mini hot dogs. You can also plan an all-aphrodisiac buffet that includes items such as asparagus, avocados, bananas, chocolate, carrots, figs, honey, licorice, oysters, pineapple, raspberries and strawberries, truffles, vanilla and wine. For drinks, think "sex" and you're on the right track; make drinks (or virgin versions, without liquor) with risqué names such as "Screaming Orgasms," "Fuzzy Navels," "Screwdrivers" and "Sex on the Beach."

Guest Favors

Party favors are fun for everyone, and they give guests something memorable to take home with them. You don't have to blow the bank to make sure the gals all have great keepsakes; they can take home the party favors, and you can put together little care packages containing items such as the dirty candies above, scented sachets, a Polaroid of their experience, or mini bath care items like specialty soaps. Give them fun items they can use after the fact, like a set of Good Vibrations Sex Checks, checks redeemable with a lover for fun sex games and favors. You can't miss with Dirty Dice, an inexpensive sex game they take home to play with their sweetie; dice have instructions (lick, kiss).

Gifts and Prizes

Chances are good you'll want to play some fun party games, and there's a plethora of games to choose from -- the difficulty is in finding the perfect prizes. And better yet, what are you going to give the woman who is about to have everything? Gifts and prizes should be explicit yet attractive, useful and practical, and still be sexy and fun. The best gifts satisfy, and are as fun to receive in a room full of your friends as they will be to put into practice.

Great Gifts for Great Sex, Period

Most people have a number-one sexual fantasy, or are interested in exploring new ones, so a gift of Sweet Life: Erotic Fantasies for Couples is a great place to start -- and keep going. TheGood Vibrations Guide to Sexis a complete sex guide giving information on everything from sex positions to using sex toys together -- or alone. The Joy of Erotic Massage gives complete, concrete instructions on making a great massage into a satisfying erotic massage, and gives pointers on setting the mood and a variety of techniques.

The Rabbit Pearl vibrator is famous for its well-earned reputation as a woman's favorite vibe, and for making the characters on Sex and the City smile -- it'll make whoever gets one smile, and keep on smiling. The I Rub My Duckie vibrator is a vibe cleverly camouflaged as a bathtub rubber duckie -- it floats like any other duckie, but press its back and you've got the cutest, most ingenious waterproof vibrator around. For visual stimulation, pick up the most popular video for couples to watch together, Eyes of Desire 2. In this woman-directed adult video, an attractive, real-life husband and wife, who have riveting, passionate sex onscreen, portray the main characters.

Make it an evening that everyone will remember, and don't forget to take plenty of pictures. For memories you can share, use instant cameras or digital photos -- also handy for later in case someone decides to run for office. You can find all the items mentioned on this website or at one of our retail stores in San Francisco, Berkeley, and Brookline. Get your party decorations online from a variety of retailers, type "bachelorette party" into any search engine.


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